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[Feb. 12th, 2007|01:26 pm] |
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I have no idea why I don't update this thing anymore. Facebook has taken over my life, maybe. |
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[Dec. 18th, 2006|12:50 am] |
I am officially going to lose weight. I promise. I am going to see a diet through from start to finish and actually reach my goal for once! It's never happened before because I think I was actually born without the willpower to resist Hershey's, but I'm going to make it happen!
So to thoroughly embarrass slash motivate myself, I'm going to post my stats as of tonight. That way, EVERYONE will know so that if I slip, EVERYONE can say "Hey, Caroline, get back on track, you chub!"
Weight: 140
Bust: 42
Waist: 35
Weird bulge below waist: 38
Hips: 40
Thighs: 21
Calves: 15 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2006|04:22 pm] |
10 things guys should do for girls:
-Kiss her on the forehead.
-Buy her a bouquet of daisies or sunflowers instead of roses (roses are for very special occasions).
-Beam at her when she's nervous to give an oral report or performance of some kind.
-Hug her randomly.
-Write her a note.
-Compliment something different every time (eyes one time, smile the next, etc.).
-Brag about her to anyone who will sit still long enough to listen.
-Cook for her.
-If she's obviously made an effort to look especially nice, notice and say something about it!
-Stroke her cheek.
10 things girls should do for guys:
-Surprise him with steak.
-Cheer like a maniac at his sports events.
-Sing.
-Let him see you without makeup sometimes.
-Sneak into his room and spray your favorite perfume onto his pillows.
-Treat him to a date sometime (don't do this too often...guys like to spoil their girlfriends).
-Attempt to understand football, or at least cheer at the TV like you do.
-Be okay with silence sometimes.ear
-Fall asleep with your head on his shoulder (guys think it's adorable).
-Wear your hair down. |
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[Dec. 2nd, 2006|10:03 am] |
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The callback was a lot of fun! It was really supportive and I got to sing a lot. I wasn't called to dance today, so I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm not really expecting anything as a freshman. There were three other freshmen called, which was great! I'm looking forward to seeing the cast list regardless of whether or not I'm in the show. I'm not gonna lie, I would LOVE to be in "Smokey Joe's Cafe" as a freshman, but if I don't get cast, it's cool. There are plenty of things to get involved in around this place! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|05:16 pm] |
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I got a callback for "Smokey Joe's Cafe"!! This is crazy. I'm a freshman. I'm not expecting anything, but I'm really nervous and I really would love it if I got a part. It would be a total blast...the music from the show is fantastic. Callback is at 6:00 tonight! |
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[Nov. 20th, 2006|06:24 am] |
So, apparently, Landon (Jason from "Medea") and I go way back.
Rewind to Friday night. My mom and I are in the theatre. She's looking at the "Medea" program. She comes across Landon's picture and nearly spazzes. I'm all "wtf, mate?" and she goes, "YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS???"
(No, Mom, I don't. You're crazy.) <---I say in my head.
"Um...it's Landon?" <---I say out loud.
"No, honey, he was in 'Disco! Disco!' at HATT! With Ashley! Remember him?"
And it all came rushing back.
Yes! He was in "Disco! Disco!" (bad script, don't be in it ever) at HATT (awesome place with good people, work with them whenever possible) about eight years ago!
At that time, my cousin Ashley was a lead, my mom was helping with costumes, my acting teacher was directing it, and I was the ten-year-old Littlest Crew Member...helping with sewing, picking up pins, unloading stuff, ushering, etc.
I distinctly remembered hanging out with him a few times and talking. Of course, I thought I was hot stuff for being ten and being considered cool by all the teenagers in the production...he was about seventeen or so at the time, I guess...so I thought he was pretty awesome.
Fast forward to Saturday night. I saw the play again (I was the "Medea" groupie, according to Landon). I find Landon afterwards, make a beeline, and go "YOU WERE IN A PLAY AT HATT LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO!"
And he's like "...'Disco! Disco!' Not the best. Fun cast, bad play." So we were in agreement about that point. He asked how I knew and I told him I was the little ten-year-old kid who was always reading and singing along. I think he remembered me because he looked way amused at that.
Well, anyway, I thought it was pretty funny.
I'm sad that "Medea" is over. It's weird...I wasn't directly involved in the show in any way. I just really, really, really adored it. I've seen three other versions of "Medea" apart from this one, and this was the first one I liked. Mary was the first Medea I could watch without rolling my eyes (she was phenomenal). Landon was the first Jason I ever sympathized with. The music was fantastic. The chorus was awesome.
Oh, and the SIGN LANGUAGE was SO COOL!!!! Kudos to Brandon, who signs like a dream. And DEFINITE kudos to Bekah...who not only had to interpret all of Medea's lines into speech, but who also had to interpret everyone else's lines for her. Bekah essentially played about five characters.
But anyway...yeah, I'm kind of sad it's over. There were a lot of people who didn't see it who I think would really have enjoyed it. |
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[Nov. 13th, 2006|10:10 pm] |
Medea kicks ass.
That is all.
Kelsey, I heard that. |
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[Nov. 2nd, 2006|01:12 am] |
Coolio...found a party after all. Good clean fun.
Gotta wake up crazy early...but I'm still up...weird. |
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[Oct. 31st, 2006|08:16 pm] |
I'm really sick of being the token loser. I'm always the one who hears about the parties the next day. I hear the funny stories the next day. I hear the inside jokes (and don't understand them) the next day.
It's Halloween. My mom went out and bought me really pretty fairy wings so I'd have a costume. I bought colorful eyeliner and cool false eyelashes. But no one has invited me anywhere, so there's nowhere to wear any of it.
Sarah's going to a party. Even Kaytren's going to a party. And what am I doing? I'm in my pajamas at 8:15 and I'm writing in my livejournal about how I don't have a party to go to. Kaytren has some REALLY annoying song from some REALLY annoying Tarantino flick on REPEAT (seventh time so far) and I'm just hoping she gets ready really fast. Sarah's getting ready in Kelly's room. And I'm...here. Not getting ready for anything.
I'm not saying I want to be a party girl. I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot of collegey things. I'm missing out on a lot of bonding opportunities. I just feel like a real loser right now.
I'm realizing that I'm more and more like the character I played in a silent film at Gov. School. I was a girl who didn't go to parties, didn't get involved in activities, didn't go to prom...but helped her friends get ready for the prom, told them to have fun at the parties, etc...I don't want to be that way. I can't stand being anti-social because I need people so badly. I just wish I felt like people needed me. |
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[Oct. 29th, 2006|08:38 pm] |
Well, Gallaudet made Jane K. Fernandes resign. I guess the protests worked! I don't really know how I feel about it since I wasn't involved or anything. I do think it's important that the president of Gallaudet is Deaf, as well as deaf, so I hope they make a good decision for the next.
Apparently, the Deaf community is already partying hard...I kinda want to join in. I hate weekends a little because those who I sign with aren't here :-( The ears are malfunctioning in a major way. When people talk I feel like I'm in a Charlie Brown cartoon...you know..."mwamwahmwahmwah"... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|06:03 pm] |
No, it's actually NOT cool that it's dark an hour earlier.
I'm a night owl. However...cold+dark=not cool.
Winter depression much? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2006|07:42 pm] |
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"High School Musical" is my new guilty pleasure. I just watched it today twice! I want to have a HSM/"Newsies" double feature in my building sometime. |
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[Oct. 25th, 2006|08:53 pm] |
Why do I feel like such a burden on everyone? I know people will tell me "you're NOT a burden! We love you!" and I know they're telling the truth...but I still feel like a huge waste of whiny space half the time. And I hate feeling like I'm coming between two people. That really sucks.
In the Land of Happy, however, the following conversation happened:
Me: What's the basic tone or texture of my voice?
Sarah: Why?
Me: For the journal entry.
Sarah: Oh. Um. Nasal.
Me: Okay...texture?
Sarah: Um...cordeuroy? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|06:06 am] |
SOMEONE help me. I can't think of what to be for Halloween.
My mom was like "YOU SHOULD BE SARA FROM 'CSI' BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY HAVE THE HAIR!"
Okay, yes, I do have similar hair to Jorja Fox, but other than Kelsey, who would know who the heck I was? I'll save that costume for when I'm sure I'm among friends only :-)
Anyone have suggestions? |
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[Oct. 20th, 2006|04:44 am] |
That's right, twice in one night...and back-to-back...hehehe, Caroline made a semi-dirty joke. Shocked?
This entry is about how much it sucks to be crazy.
I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I compulsively count things until I reach eight or a multiple of eight. I do everything eight times (hand-washing, foot tapping, chewing, etc). If my body feels uneven (such as when my ankle was sprained and I wore a bandage on my left ankle), I feel as though I am going crazy (which is why I also wrapped my right ankle for the exact amount of time that I wrapped my left).
I have Dyscalculia (aka numerical dyslexia). Numbers make absolutely no sense to me unless they are eight or a multiple of eight. If I see 7+5=? I cannot answer it without a calculator or counting on my fingers. I can ace my book work in math class and on the same day, fail miserably on a test that is about the same topic. I confuse multiplication and addition. I sometimes have to stop for a moment to figure out which number is bigger, especially when I'm shopping (is the soup that costs $2.49 more or less expensive than the soup that costs $2.19? Sometimes I have to really think about it!).
( Dyscalculia symptoms...all that apply to me are in bold. HOW did we not catch this until college??? )
</b>I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka winter depression). When the weather gets cold and gray, I have to force myself to smile. I have to wear bright, warm, soft clothes and watch funny movies and TV shows and stand-up comedians and hug lots and lots of people lots and lots of times in order to make it through the season without crying constantly.
I have anxiety and depression. Most of this stems from my childhood. Something will trigger a memory and I go into panic mode, sometimes hyperventilating until I black out or collapse. If someone says the wrong thing or touches me in a certain way, I lose it and it takes me a long time to calm down. I have a lot of difficulty trusting people and I have a fear of loving and being loved.
I have an eating disorder. I battle with my self-image every day. The mirror is my worst enemy. I am 5'3", 135 pounds, but I might as well weigh 200. When I look at my reflection, I see double chins, rolls on my back, jiggly thighs, a huge stomach, and general ugliness. Unworthy of compliments and attention. It takes everything I have to make myself eat. There are times when I will go days without putting a scrap of food in my body, and I have to force myself to consume something to keep from getting sick.
Most people seem to describe me as "cute" or "animated" or "bubbly" or "sweet"...which would make me sound so normal and so happy. But I'm only really happy when I'm with people who make me forget that I am totally and completely crazy. When I'm laughing so hard that it hurts, that's when I'm happy. When I'm cuddled up with someone and watching a good movie, that's when I'm happy. When it's summer and I've lost ten pounds and I have a new haircut and I'm driving in my car with the windows down and music blaring, that's when I'm happy. When I'm in a play, that's when I'm happy.
I have trouble letting myself be happy for long. I don't feel worthy of it. I see people suffering and people worse off than myself and I hear about horrible situations around the world and I don't feel as though I should be allowed to be happy until they are.
It sucks to be crazy. It really does. |
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[Oct. 20th, 2006|04:36 am] |
RULE ONE: If you want people to come up and talk to you, don't hold up pictures that make them feel sick and walk away.
The pro-life people were at school on Wednesday and they had photos of aborted fetuses. And they had their five-year-old kids passing out pamphlets. Frankly, I wouldn't want my child seeing those images at all, let alone passing out literature about something they couldn't possibly understand at that age.
Now, just for clarification (and I know I'll probably take a few hits for this), my stance on abortion is this: I am pro-choice, but I could never get one. And I certainly don't think it should be someone's main method of birth control...if you weren't careful, you have to deal with the consequences. HOWEVER: in the situations of rape or incest or some other horrible situation, I think it should be allowed since the situation is not in the woman's control.
But that's not the point at all. I don't care what you're protesting. Even if someone were trying to raise awareness for the situation in Darfur, something I am completely in support of, I wouldn't exactly say it was a great idea if they were holding signs with pictures of people's heads blown off. Those sorts of images make people want to walk away from them, not come closer and see what they're about.
I understand what they were trying to do. I know they were trying to shock us and raise an emotional response. And I completely respect their right to be there. But there was only one image that didn't make me want to throw up: it was a photo of a beautiful, healthy, adorable little baby with the word "Life" printed below it. Had they used images similar to that, I would probably have been more likely to listen to what they had to say. That image moved me more than the other pictures of bloody, aborted fetuses, because it raised my maternal instincts rather than my gag reflex.
I'm just saying. |
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[Oct. 17th, 2006|05:56 pm] |
Comedytragedy28: i wanna sleeeeep
Comedytragedy28: ...
Comedytragedy28: lol
ursoblindtome: what's that
Comedytragedy28: it's like a lay-down thing...you close your eyes
Comedytragedy28: and go unconscious for a while
ursoblindtome: but how do you get work done?
Comedytragedy28: come on, i know yo'uve heard of it
Comedytragedy28: you don't, apparently
ursoblindtome: but but
ursoblindtome: nu uh
Comedytragedy28: i know it sounds crazy
Comedytragedy28: but i swear it's true
ursoblindtome: what's the point of it if you can't get work done?
Comedytragedy28: i think it has something to do with health
Comedytragedy28: i dunno
ursoblindtome: what does it do to the health?
ursoblindtome: does it lower it?
Comedytragedy28: no it's supposed to help
Comedytragedy28: like make it better
ursoblindtome: like how?
Comedytragedy28: noooo idea
ursoblindtome: *researches*
Comedytragedy28: good call
ursoblindtome: hey it says it gives energy
Comedytragedy28: yeah i thikn it's something about your immune system too
ursoblindtome: it must be a drug |
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[Oct. 15th, 2006|12:14 am] |
Ever have a good idea, but never carried it out?
An idea for a story, a play, a photo or painting, a song...even a hairstyle or makeup design...or a theme for a party or event...
If you've had one of these ideas, comment with it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|04:24 pm] |
To withdraw or not to withdraw: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous math equations,
Or to take arms against a sea of numbers,
And by opposing end them? To withdraw: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand trinomial factors
That dyslexics cannot control, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To withdraw, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that nap of afternoons what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this algebra class,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long class;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of math,
The professor's wrong, the obnoxious classmates contumely,
The pangs of despised exponents, the test's delay,
The insolence of students and the spurns
That patient merit of the failers takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare textbook? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary course compass website,
But that the dread of something after class,
The undiscover'd problems from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus math does make lunatics of us all;
And thus the native hue of finding solutions
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair calculator! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my equations solv'd.
Okay, so that's not the best parody in the world, but I tried.
Basically, I'm considering withdrawing from my algebra class to save my GPA...and to keep from having an F on my transcript. I have been trying so hard to learn and understand this stuff, but I just don't think I can do it. I've had countless tutors and countless friends explain it to me, but nothing sticks. My advisor is sending me to disability services to be tested for dyslexia! Crazy...
[edit]Changed the layout in favor of Pluto. [/edit] |
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lullabyeofbway's journal